I THINK SOMETHING TRAGIC MIGHT HAPPEN

Bato, a soldier in the Nigerian army, takes an instant liking to Audou his housekeeper and treats him like he would his own son. But Geraldine, his wife, seduces Audou into falling in love with her and sharing a bed whenever Bato is away. The sea of pleasure flowing through Audou’s being while engaging in his illicit sexual affairs with Geraldine, does nothing to exterminate the silhouette of fear constantly hanging around the walls of his mind.

Those were the words that came out of my mouth. I never meant to say them, neither did I plan to interrupt the pleasure flow; but my tongue formed them and threw them out into the wind before I had any chance to grab them back. Geraldine stopped. I was praying so steadily in my heart that she had not heard, considering how loud her moaning was. But she did hear it, and her sweet, sweaty face went from one of painful pleasure and excitement to pure curiosity in an instant.

“Huh?” She asked under her breath. She lifted her left hand and pulled her hair back so she could see my face properly. I stared at her beauty, almost feigning ignorance. I knew she wanted me to repeat what I said so she would make sure she had heard right, and I wanted to say something like “Oh my god you’re so beautiful” or you know… something romantic; Something people say to one another during sex. But my tongue stiffened, my lips glued together. The expression on her face was slowly moving towards the direction of less enthusiasm; and with me still inside her, everything was getting really awkward really fast. “What did you say?” She asked as though she was tired of waiting.

“I said I think something tragic might happen. I have this bad feeling…” She frowned.

“Why do you say that?” She queried. That time, she had already stopped bouncing and somehow my erection was becoming weak inside her.

“I…I don’t know… I…” I stuttered. My voice trailed off and I almost choked on my own saliva. She didn’t say anything anymore. She just slowly climbed off me and down from the bed. Then she methodically picked up her panties and gown, and slowly walked out of the room. I wanted to stand up and run after her but something just held me down, so I lay there on the bed and watched her go. I heard the sound of her feet as she walked up the stairs and then the sound of her door as she closed it almost violently. I just lay there, wondering what just happened.

We both knew from day one that it was a risky venture. It always was. And with her husband being a military man, it was very difficult for me to bask my fear under the excitement and pleasure that came with sex. Even after four months, my mind still subconsciously, but constantly reminded me that one day it would go wrong. One day, Bato, for that was the name of her husband, would catch us. And what would I do then? She is a woman, so I expected naturally that her punishment would be very much lighter than mine. After all, I was just a houseboy. A houseboy sleeping with, no not sleeping, fucking a soldier’s pretty wife. Bato would skin me alive in the most literal sense and I dreaded such thought. So, when my subconscious had taken over midway through our last congenital meeting, I became depressed at the thought of having offended her. At the same time, I knew I was right. We couldn’t just act like there was no danger hovering in the air. What if her husband knew all this while and was just waiting for the right moment so that he would catch us red handed? You never know with military men. So, I decided to believe that as she walked out of my room that she was going to give it a thought and maybe come up with a plan that would ensure our safety. After sometime, I stood up, went into the bathroom and stayed under the shower until I heard the horning of Bato’s car outside the gate.

I only had been in the house for five months, but I was already Bato’s favorite. He always tipped me for no reasons at all. Sometimes he would just come downstairs, call my name and hand me some cash. “Just take care of yourself.” He would say. Even when I took his clothes to the dry cleaners or went to the market for him, he always let me keep the change. And that was not even the juice of it. He enrolled me in school to complete my secondary education, despite Geraldine’s protests that he was spending too much on an ordinary houseboy. Bato always vouched for me too. Whenever Geraldine pretended to be mad at me or complained that I didn’t do something the way I ought to have, he would step in to defend me. And I had come to love him back. He was the one who hired me despite his wife’s resistance that I was Hausa. She had said she needed a Yoruba boy, right in front of me, and despite my education she didn’t want me. I came from nothing. All the way from Kano, I had come down to Lagos in search of a job. Any job. And I let her know that by kneeling before her to plead that I would do whatever she ever required of me. I would clean the house before they woke up. I would cook. I would wash Bato’s car, and hers. I would sweep the compound regularly and dust the interiors. I would watch the gates. The only thing I didn’t promise to do was make her the First Lady of the United States. After so much plea, she had accepted me, out of pity rather than my qualifications.

“Welcome Sah!” I saluted Bato as his car made its way into the compound. He smiled and waved at me. I immediately closed the gates and ran towards his car as he parked in front of the house. “Welcome Sah!!” I saluted again.

“Audou, how are you doing today?” He asked in his usual cheerful self.

“I’m fine Sah! Welcome Sah!” I responded. I loved the way he pronounced my name, putting the stress in the first syllable rather than the second. He was still sitting in the car, and I watched him put some papers that he had arranged on the passenger’s seat into a file.

“Audou?”

“Sah?”

“I’ll need you to keep my baby clean and warm for tomorrow morning.” I shuddered. My heart left me for a second because I felt blood poor all over the inside of my lower body in irregular fashion. Keep your baby clean? I asked myself. What did he mean by that? And before I got started on the warm part, I heard him calling my name again.

“Audou!”

“Sah.”

“Did you hear me? I said you should wash my car and warm it up tomorrow morning. My other car.” I only just noticed that he was already out of the car then.

“Oh, okay Sah. No problem Sah.”

“Are you alright?” He asked with concern.

“Yes Sah. I’m fine, Sah.”

“Good.” He nodded and began to make his way into the building while I followed him.

Bato was a very handsome man. Talk, dark and pretty faced. His jawline was a work of art and so was his frame; God and his angels definitely took their time to make him. And they had given him everything too. He was a high-ranking officer; I knew that from his badge and collar lines. He was wealthy and generous. And the cherry on the top, Geraldine, was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Bato had established a nail salon for her although she hardly worked there. She only went from time to time to get updates from the manager, I supposed. What she did with most of her time was watch tv shows on Netflix and have sex… with me!

We started our secret relationship exactly one month after I was employed. That faithful morning, Bato had gone to work and I was in the bathroom getting ready for school when Geraldine walked in. There was soap on my face that time but I hurriedly wiped it off and peered at her. She was standing by the door, stark naked.

“Madam!!” I screamed. My heart was beating fast.

“Sshhh.” She placed her index finger on her lips and walked slowly towards me. I just froze as she came. Her breasts like alluring apples and her nipples standing and beckoning on me. She reached out and held my left arm. I felt a wave of emotion sweep through my entire body. Fear gripped my mind. I was feeling so hot on the inside like I might explode as though I was a magma. On the outside though, I felt cold. So cold that when she ran her fingers across my arm all the way to my lips, I felt my skin freeze like ice. The hairs on my body stood. What was she doing? Why would she want to have anything to do with me? My brain raced. My heart became tired. But she held me and led me back into my room. “Have you ever done this before?” She asked in the calmest seductive way. Her pretty eyes searching every corner of my little body. I shook my head.

“Don’t worry, I’m going to teach you.” She kissed me slowly the first time. I just stood there. Although my sergeant was already at attention waiting for command, the rest of my body didn’t react. I was terrified. What if it was a temptation? What if she and her husband had planned it to see if I would fail? There was absolutely no reason for her to come to me, I reasoned. First of all, she was, at-least, twice as old as I was. Second of all, what would a seventeen-year-old boy like me do to satisfy her that Bato couldn’t with all his muscles? She pushed me into the bed softly and climbed onto me, kissing me all over and asking me under feint breath to kiss her back.

That was the first of many. I got better with time and we got nastier as well. Sometimes we did it in the shower, sometimes in the kitchen, other times in the sitting room. A few weeks ago, she asked me to use my tongue and lick her down there; and she moaned so loudly as I did it that I thought someone might hear us from the other street. But I realized in that moment, that she hardly moaned with Bato. And if I wasn’t observant enough, I would never have noticed they even had sex regularly.

Bato had enrolled me for extra lessons a few weeks ago, in preparation for my SSCE; but not once did I ever attend the lessons. I always came home immediately after school to Geraldine so that before Bato would be back from work, we were done. I observed that her beauty grew with the more time we spent together. I often wagged my legs together in the classroom, dreaming of her; reminiscing on our encounters, remembering her beautiful face as she shrieked in ecstasy whenever she reached her climax. I was enjoying every single bit of it, of her, but the fear in my mind never went away. So that this faithful Sunday, I didn’t know when I told her how scared I was. I didn’t know things would change in ways I never imagined.

“Where’s your madam?” Bato asked me as we entered the sitting room.

“She’s upstairs Sah.” I answered cuttingly. I was afraid of being caught absentminded again. He went upstairs to meet her. I tried to eavesdrop but I couldn’t hear anything. What if she told him? What if she said I had tried to rape her or something like that? What would then be my defense? I sat in the kitchen, wondering what was happening upstairs, until Bato came down and asked me to make dinner for two.

“Your madam is not feeling very well,” he said, “I’ll go outside and get her something.” As soon as he left the house, I quickly ran up upstairs. I met her, lying face down in her bed. When she noticed my presence, she immediately sat up.

“What are you doing here? Are you insane?!” She asked fiercely.

“I came to say… I’m sorry for what happened earlier. I didn’t mean to…” I couldn’t believe I was apologizing but my life was on the line.

“Audou, you and I have nothing to discuss.” She said.

“I mean it, I’m sorry.” I repeated. “I was just, you know, scared. Paranoid. I don’t want you to be upset.” I pleaded. She didn’t hold back.

“Go and look for someone else to harbor your paranoia on.” I was stunned. How could she say that to me when she knew exactly what I was talking about? Both our lives were at risk.

“What if he catches us?” I asked desperately.

“Excuse me?” I couldn’t believe she had never thought of that possibility.

“I mean, people find out about these things…what if Oga hears it? What if he hears about it? What are we going to do?” I wanted to keep speaking but my tongue couldn’t continue. I needed her to get it; to understand what was at stake.

“He can never find out about anything.”

“But what if he does? You don’t think it behooves us to have a backup plan? Like, security?”

“Audou, stop being a little child and get out before I get angry with you!” She said with such finality that made me walk out of the room like a dog that’d been poured water on.

When Bato came back, he asked me to skip lessons the next day so that I would be home early to take care of Geraldine. That night, I couldn’t sleep. I kept tossing around in my bed, thinking about how to make things right by her and keep our secret… secret.

Morning came and Geraldine asked me to not bother about her and go to school, so I did. But that was my worst day in school. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I kept to myself all day, thinking about her. About her succulent breasts and beautiful figure and amazing lips. But I wasn’t thinking about them because I was longing for her - ofcourse I longed for her but that was beside the point- instead, it was because something kept telling me that I might lose her. That I might never touch her breasts or kiss her lips again. Isn’t that what you wanted? I asked myself. No! It’s not! I didn’t want to lose her; I just wanted the danger that was her husband out of the way. If only there was a way we could make him disappear. Maybe I could convince her so that we would kill him. He was a soldier quite alright but that was all he was. No soldier was made of steel, all she had to do was give me a little something to put in his food and that would be it. No one would know what happened. We could sell everything and move out if we wanted. It was while I was planning about how we could kill Bato that it dawned on me how much I couldn’t bear to lose her. I was in love with her! Although, killing someone was not a good thing, I couldn’t just sit there, and wait for things to go wrong; for the lurking danger to manifest. It was Bato, the man who took me in and gave me shelter, food, education and everything. So what? It was not my fault, it was Geraldine’s; no, it was no one’s fault. Falling in love with someone was not something to be planned. It was something preordained. By God. And Bato was standing in the way, more like he was trying to put asunder. Besides, if he ever found out, I would practically be a dead man; so why don’t I kill him first? I laid down the map of our potential discussion. And if she agreed - she most probably would - then everything would be settled.

I couldn’t wait for the dismissal bell to ring, so that when it finally did, I ran off at full speed. I was home in a matter of minutes, almost forgetting to pay the conductor when I got down in front of our gates. I knocked. I knew she always took her time to come out and open the gate so I leaned on the pillar to wait. However, I immediately heard the door of the boy’s quarters open, proceeded by the small gate. The gate was then held ajar by a strange looking man. He was tall, almost the same height as Bato, but that was about it with their similar features. His eyes stood outside of his face, wide and large. As he looked at me, I felt like he was searching through the innermost crusts of my soul; searching for my deepest secrets and counting my sins. His nose was so thick and heavy. I couldn’t carry it if was asked to. His eyebrows were so terrifying. They looked like sheaves of grasses, bound together in two places and held up with a never-forgiving rope. His eyebrows were as domineering as his eyeballs were, but looked more ruthless. And with his small ears, God must have put everything he needed in making his ears into his nose and eyes. In short, he was a walking horror show.

He was sweating profusely like someone that worked in a bakery.

“Welcome,” He said. His voice surprisingly milder than his bold presence suggested. “How was school?” He asked. How was school? How about we start with what you are doing here? In fact, how did you get in here? How about that? Those were the questions I was fast formulating in my head and was preparing to ask him; but with those thick eyebrows that looked like they were never going to quit, and his eyeballs that he could use to see tomorrow, he already saw the questions in my mind and began to answer them.

“Sorry, I’m the new gateman. My name is Femi. You’re Audou, right?” I nodded and shook his sweaty hand in silence. Then I smiled at him and went inside. I zoomed upstairs to meet Geraldine. How smart of her to execute the initial plan. But she could have told me before she did it. I thought.

But she wasn’t upstairs. I searched the entire house but I couldn’t find her. I decided to think that she might have gone to the market or somewhere. My mind was at ease. Finally, we could make love without having to worry about Bato. Femi would be our lookout man. I went into the kitchen and ate to my satisfaction. Then I took a shower and decided to stay in the sitting room and wait for her to return. Around 4pm, I just stood by the window, watching the compound. Suddenly, Femi’s door opened, and I saw Geraldine quietly walk out of the room with her shoes in her hands. Then she began to make her way towards the main building. It was as though someone had taken my heart to the top of the Eiffel Tower, then threw it up and watched it fall and crash against the tarmac. Tears ran out of my eyes immediately. I just stood up, walked into my room, and proceeded to cry myself to sleep.

I woke up to the sound of Bato’s car horns, and headaches. One thought was on my mind: Femi. Out of every man out there, I was going to lose Geraldine to Femi and his stupid eyebrows. Never! I must fight for what was mine, and prove to Geraldine that I was worth it. But I couldn’t even stand up from my bed. My back hurt so bad, my head banged, my muscles were tired. Soon, Geraldine came in. She touched my head and told me not to worry, that she would get me some medicine. Not long after, Bato came in with a black nylon that contained the drugs.

“Audou, I heard you were sick. I don’t know what is going on with you guys nowadays. Everyone is just falling sick.” He said. I looked up at him with sorry eyes. How could he not know? How could he be so ignorant of the things happening right under his nose? “I know it must malaria. So, I bought you these.” He gave me the medication and a cup of water with which I took it.

“Thank you, Sah.” I said.

“You’re welcome.” He was the last person I saw that night. My eyes were heavy and tired, and before long I was fast asleep again.

I had a terrible nightmare. I was fighting with a very large monster over an expensive treasure chest. The monster beat the living daylight out of me and escaped with the chest. When I woke up, I didn’t need a soothsayer to tell me that it was Femi. Over my dead body would I lose Geraldine to that ugly bastard, I swore. Bato came in while I was still thinking about the terrible dream.

“How are you doing this morning?” He asked after I greeted him.

“Better Sah.” He asked if I was strong enough to go to school and I nodded.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes Sah.” He told me to get prepared so that he would take me to school himself, although I was feeling more energetic than I had felt last night. The medicine had done its job. For a houseboy, Bato was giving me the prince treatment. I didn’t know why he didn’t have any children but he sure treated me like I was his own child.

As he drove me to school that morning, I asked in trembling lips, if he knew about Femi and he responded that it was Geraldine’s idea. That she had said one more hand was needed in the house so that I wouldn’t have to skip school anytime she fell sick or something. I nodded attentively. It was the same night she had called me a little child, but I didn’t loathe her for that. Instead, I blamed myself for letting her down. And I was determined to win her back even if it meant wrestling Femi and his eyebrows into the grave.

I came back from school and saw that the gate was not locked from the inside. Instead, the bolt was casually leaning on the hook in the pillar, but never locking. Femi and his stupid eyebrows had left the gates open and went on whatever devil’s errand it was that he was up to. I was happy. I rushed inside the house to tell Geraldine the kind of person that Femi was: a careless man who had no single appreciation for all he was given. Could you imagine? Someone that just got employed yesterday? Femi had made my case for me. Simple and short.

When I got inside, there was no sign of Geraldine. The TV was on, and only when I listened carefully did I hear her moaning from inside her room. I searched my mind to figure out if Bato was already back from work and I immediately remembered that his car was not outside. It could only be one person. It could only be Femi.

I quickly ran up the stairs. I touched the door and it opened a little bit. I saw him, Femi, violently holding Geraldine and dragging her hands backwards while she was on her knees. She was screaming so loudly as his waist moved back and forth with great momentum and clapped against her buttocks. I was enraged. Geraldine and I had never done that style before, and she was doing it with Femi… she was doing it with Femi on her matrimonial bed! I couldn’t take the first two for my sake, but for the last, I lost my head on behalf of Bato. Who did Femi think he was? To be having an affair with Madam in her bed? Just a day after he was employed as what again? An ordinary gateman? He had no fear of God in him, let alone any man. My blood was boiling in my heart. I ran out of the room into Bato’s study. I had seen a little gun in one of his boxes when I was cleaning them and I hoped it was still there. Thank goodness it was. I picked it up and ran back to the room.

I kicked the door with so much rage that it ricocheted off the wall behind it and almost hit me in the face. Femi and Geraldine disentangled immediately and lay on their backs facing me, fear written all over their faces. Femi, in particular, was so scared that I couldn’t believe it. Then I saw his long thick machine gun deflate gradually. That was the reason why Geraldine left me for him, because his machine gun was bigger than mine, I thought.

“Audou, please. Please put the gun away please. Let’s talk this through, please!” Geraldine pleaded. Femi was tight lipped, but his eyebrows already did the pleading.

“Talk what through? Ehn?! Talk what through?!!!” My voice was loud and fierce and strange. I couldn’t believe it was a mine.

“Please it’s not what you think. Femi is my ex-boyfriend. He used to come here before Bato asked me to take you in.” She cried. I understood then. That was the reason why she had wanted a Yoruba boy, so she could employ Femi over me.

“How’s that even an explanation?!!” I yelled at her. They both were shaken by my voice. I saw their clothes on the floor, so I moved forward and used my left foot to drag the clothes away from them as far as possible. With the gun pointed at them, I was still dragging the clothes away when Bato’s car horned outside.

He kept horning persistently but I dared Femi to move and I would shoot his brains out. Geraldine was shaking like a leaf under the harmattan wind.

“Audou just… can we fix this? We can fix this. Please. Just… oh my god!” She wanted to stand up but I warned her to sit put. I was confused, although, I refused to show it. There was this power that came with wielding a gun that I couldn’t just shake off; but I still didn’t know what to do, whether to shoot them or not. I wanted Bato to find Femi and deal with him, but I was also afraid that my own affair with Geraldine would surface. Most importantly, I didn’t want her to get hurt, at least not because of Femi. Bato was walking up the stairs now. Femi’s eyes pleaded with the floor to open up and swallow him whole. Geraldine looked like she had just been sentenced to death.

“Babe where’s Audou and Femi? And why’s everywhere op… what is going on here?” Bato saw the clothes lying on the floor. His eyes slowly moved to the bed and caught Femi and Geraldine. “What?!” He screamed. I was pointing the gun at him now. Then he slowly turned towards me. “What the hell is going on here?!!” He thundered. I was pointing the gun straight at him for reasons I couldn’t explain. But he didn’t care about me and the gun in my hand, he was fully focused on the bed. “Geraldine! What is going on here?!!” Geraldine was in full tears. Femi was rubbing his palms together.

“You should be talking to me!” I said to him. He didn’t look at me. “Look at me now or I’ll shoot you!!” Then he finally faced me, I could feel the rage in his eyes. The hate in his heart. I could feel how much he wanted to strangle both Femi and Geraldine with his hands.

“What the hell is happening? Why are you holding a gun? You should’ve called me!” I was astounded. He still had no idea what was going on. “Geraldine! I asked you a question!!!”

“Baby please I can explain.” She wept. But I didn’t want her to explain. Her explanation would be the most dangerous thing to every one of us in the room.

“Shut up!!” I screamed at her.

“Why are you telling her to shut up?!” I felt pity for Bato. I felt dirty for having betrayed him, and I knew it would be better for everyone if he didn’t find out that I did. He continued, “Just put the gun away already.” I couldn’t put the gun away even if I wanted to. I was pointing it straight at his face. I didn’t like the way he was looking at me. It seemed he didn’t believe I was capable of doing any harm. “I said put the gun away.” I refused. “Put the gun, away.” He repeated slowly. He started walking towards me.

 “Stop!” I screamed at him. “One more step and I’ll shoot you.” I could feel the redness in my eyes. The rage oozing out my head.

“But there’s no bullet in that gun.” He said as he kept on moving towards me. The gun immediately felt light in my hands, and for a fraction of a second, I moved my eyes from Bato to it. In that moment he dove towards me, catching hold of the tip of the gun with his right hand. Before he could properly grab it, I pulled the trigger. Twice. The first shot caught him in the arm, driving the bullet through his hand. The second shot caught him in the head and blasted his skull. He was so close to me that my face, my clothes, every part of my body was virtually covered in his blood. Everywhere was red. I stood there, my whole-body trembling. I watched him fall lifelessly to the floor in his full military regalia. His boots being drained gradually as the blood oozed from his head and hand. Geraldine was screaming. I saw her mouth wide open but I was not hearing anything besides the reverberating echo of the gunshots. It took me sometime to realize it, but Bato was dead. And I was the one who killed him.

I gradually returned back to reality and discovered my hand was still holding the gun. I was trembling, still, I didn’t let go of it. Femi stood up and ran towards the door. I reflexively pulled the trigger again and caught him in the shoulder. He fell down and began to scream in pain. I walked over and stood above him, watching him try to crawl away from me. The fright in his face and eyes was heart wrenching and soothing at the same time. For some reason, I enjoyed seeing the pain in his face. Geraldine was still crying in the corner.

“Audou please. Please…” She went on and on.

“Please…” Femi said. I raised the gun and pointed it towards his face. I saw his eyebrows daring me to shoot; his large eyeballs calling me a loser. “Audou, please don’t…” I shot him. Again. And again. And again. Geraldine was screaming so loud I felt the building might collapse. I could hear people banging their fists on the gate and screaming in mixed voices. Then it hit me. I had killed a soldier, there was no way I could escape from that. As I pointed the gun at Geraldine, tears immediately ran down my face.

“Audou please. Please don’t do this.” She cried helplessly. But I didn’t shoot her. Instead, I slowly lifted the gun and pointed it at my own chin. I remembered that morning when she came into my bathroom and the several days that followed. I remembered everything that had ever happened between the both of us in the house. But I couldn’t erase the present with those memories. I couldn’t change the past, or the future.

“No no no! Audou! Nooo…!!!” She kept screaming, just before I shut my eyes tight and squeezed at the trigger again.